Merlin on Facebook
by Dragonrider2203
Summary: The Merlin episodes told as Facebook-like status updates. Highly experimental so please read & review. UP FOR ADOPTION!
1. The Dragon's Call

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, the BBC does. And Facebook owns Facebook and status updates.  
**

**I got this idea from a similar thing on the Jane Eyre section and thought it would work for Merlin. It's basically the episode written out as status updates on Facebook. There will be one for each episode, whenever I get round to writing it. **

Merlin is walking to Camelot

Merlin has arrived in Camelot

Merlin is attending the event "Execution of the Evil Sorcerer"

Thomas James Collins is dead

Uther has created the event "Feast celebrating 20 Years of No Magic"

Mary Collins has tagged Uther and Arthur in the note "Revenge"

Mary Collins is gone

Merlin is saving Gaius's life

Gaius is angry with Merlin

Merlin has sent Gaius a friend request

Gaius has accepted Merlin's friend request

Mary Collins is killing Lady Helen

Mary Collins is Lady Helen

Anonymous has sent Merlin a friend request

Merlin is working for Gaius

Merlin has sent Arthur a friend request

Arthur has rejected Merlin's friend request

Merlin is in the cells

Lady Helen/Mary Collins is arriving at Camelot

Anonymous has sent Merlin a friend request

Merlin is in the stocks

Gwen has sent Merlin a friend request

Merlin has accepted Gwen's friend request

Merlin has given a "Potion" to Lady Helen/Mary Collins

Arthur has created the event "Mace Fight"

Merlin is attending the event "Mace Fight"

Arthur is thinking there's something about Merlin, but he can't quite put his finger on it

Uther and Lady Helen/Mary Collins are attending the event "Dinner"

Anonymous has sent Merlin a friend request

Merlin has accepted The Dragon's friend request

The Dragon has tagged Merlin in the note "Your Destiny"

Merlin is delivering medicine to Morgana

Merlin is pretending to be Gwen

Merlin is embarrassed as Gwen has returned

Pale Girl has given a "Basket of Fruit" to Lady Helen/Mary Collins

Lady Helen is killing Pale Girl

Merlin is attending the event "Feast celebrating 20 Years of No Magic"

Arthur is attending the event "Feast celebrating 20 Years of No Magic"

Morgana is attending the event "Feast celebrating 20 Years of No Magic"

Gwen is attending the event "Feast celebrating 20 Years of No Magic"

Uther is attending the event "Feast celebrating 20 Years of No Magic"

Uther is introducing Lady Helen/Mary Collins

Lady Helen/Mary Collins is singing

Lady Helen/Mary Collins is singing an enchantment

Merlin has "Dropped a Chandelier" on Lady Helen/Mary Collins

Lady Helen/Mary Collins has "Thrown a Knife" at Arthur

Merlin is stopping time

Merlin is saving Arthur's life

Uther has tagged Merlin in the note "Arthur's New Manservant"

Gaius has given a "Book of Magic" to Merlin

Merlin has tagged You in the note "Keep the Magic Secret"

**Please read & review**


	2. Valiant

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, the BBC does.**

**I got this idea from a similar thing on the Jane Eyre section and thought it would work for Merlin. It's basically the episode written out as status updates on facebook. There will be one for each episode, whenever I get round to writing it. **

**This one is a bit longer than the last as I wrote it while watching the episode; and so pretty much put in everything. Enjoy!**

Dodgy Trader has accepted Valiant's friend request

Dodgy Trader has given a "Magic Shield" to Valiant

Dodgy Trader is dead

Valiant is arriving in Camelot

Arthur is practicing for the tournament

Merlin is being beaten up

Gaius is giving Merlin a massage

Merlin is revising

Gwen is helping Merlin to revise

Merlin is getting Arthur ready

Arthur isn't nervous (yeah right!)

Merlin is forgetting the sword

Arthur and Valiant are attending the event "Tournament"

Uther has tagged Arthur in the note "Boring speech to start the Tournament"

Arthur is fighting the man with the stripy shield

Arthur is the winner

Valiant is beating up someone

Various persons is fighting

Valiant is offering his congrats to Arthur

Merlin is thinking Valiant is a creep

Merlin is doing his chores the easy way

Uther has accepted Valiant's friend request

Morgana has accepted Valiant's friend request

Arthur is a teensy bit jealous

Merlin is hearing hissing noises in the armoury

Valiant is not very happy with Merlin

Arthur is astonished at Merlin's handiwork

Merlin is actually good at getting Arthur ready

Merlin is enjoying himself

Sir Euen has been given a "Snake Bite" by Valiant

Merlin is sneaking around

Valiant has given a "Live Mouse" to Magic Shield

Merlin is running away

Arthur is fighting a bear man

Merlin is minding his own business (not)

Arthur is the winner

Arthur is looking worried

Valiant is going to fight Arthur in the final

Gaius is thinking Merlin is right

Uther is offering Valiant a position in Camelot

Merlin is cutting off a snake's head

Gaius has given a "Cure" to Sir Euen

Merlin is presenting the evidence to Arthur

Sir Euen is better

Arthur has tagged Valiant in the note "Cheating"

Sir Euen is dead

Valiant is being a smarmy bastard

Arthur is apologising

Arthur had tagged Merlin in the note "You humiliated me and now you're fired"

Merlin has tagged The Dragon in the note "You've got the wrong person!"

The Dragon is giving out riddles

Gwen is believing Merlin

Merlin has a great idea

Merlin is stealing a statue

Merlin is trying, and failing, to do magic

Merlin has tagged The Statue in the note "Ob ay o doth ay a reis am quick em"

Morgana is having a nightmare

Arthur is going to die, because it's his duty (A/N: at least he believes Merlin)

Morgana is asking Arthur to be careful

Arthur and Valiant are attending the event "Tournament Final"

Merlin is being attacked by an angry Rottweiler

Valiant is winning

Arthur is winning

Arthur is being chivalrous

Valiant is winning

Arthur is trapped

Merlin is doing magic

Valiant is using magic

Morgana is chucking Arthur a sword

Valiant is dead

Arthur is going to the feast after all

Uther is never going to apologise

Arthur is too proud to admit he was saved by a girl

Merlin is Arthur's servant again

Merlin has tagged You in the note "Keep the Magic Secret"

**Please read & review**


	3. The Mark of Nimueh

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, the BBC does. And I don't own Facebook or status updates.  
**

**I got this idea from a similar thing on the Jane Eyre section and thought it would work for Merlin. It's basically the episode written out as status updates on Facebook. There will be one for each episode, whenever I get round to writing it. **

**Enjoy!**

Nimueh is making something.

Nimueh has given a "Mysterious Egg" to Camelot

The Egg is hatching

Nimueh is watching a random person drink some water

Random Person is dead and looking weird

Gaius is worried

Gwen is making some rather funny-sounding food

Gwen has given a "Purple Flower" to Merlin

Gwen has given a "Bunch of Flowers" to Morgana

Gaius is thinking the disease is caused by magic

Uther is getting Arthur to summon Gaius

Random Courtier is dead

Uther is worried

Uther has tagged Arthur in the note "Magic is Bad"

Arthur is invading people's homes

Gaius is examining a person's stomach contents

Arthur is invading Gaius's chambers

Arthur is finding a cupboard for Merlin

Merlin is throwing a shirt over the magic book

Arthur is stupidly blind

Merlin has tagged Gaius in the note "I can cure it with Magic"

Nimueh is watching a scary monster

Arthur is finished searching

Uther is imposing a curfew and cordoning off the lower town

Gaius has tagged Merlin in the note "How the Disease Spreads"

Gwen's Dad is ill

Gaius is unable to help

Merlin is breaking curfew

Merlin is curing Gwen's Dad using magic

Gwen's Dad is better

Nimueh is looking at loads of dead bodies

Merlin is psychic

Arthur is suspicious

Arthur is searching Gwen's house

Gwen is being arrested

Merlin is feeling guilty

Gwen is sentenced to be burnt

Morgana is pissed off and pleading with Uther

Arthur is pleading with Uther too

Merlin is feeling uber guilty

Merlin is going to see Gwen

Gwen has tagged Merlin in the note "Remember Me"

Merlin is not going to let this happen

Merlin is confessing

Arthur is getting Merlin off the hook

Merlin is "in love with Gwen"

Merlin is wanting to go around wearing a pointy hat

Gaius is thinking he won't find one big enough

Gaius and Merlin are attending the event "Trip to the Water Supply"

The Afanc is trying to eat Merlin

Merlin is going to get Gwen out

Merlin is going to chat to The Dragon

The Dragon has tagged Merlin in the note "The Coin Speech"

Uther is moving the execution forward

Merlin is researching "elements"

Merlin is needing Arthur

Morgana is fetching Arthur

Arthur, Morgana and Merlin are attending the event "Afanc Hunt"

The Afanc is creeping up on the trio

The Afanc is quick

The Afanc has trapped Morgana

Arthur is using the torch

Merlin is conjuring a wind

The Afanc is dead

Nimueh is pissed off

Gaius has tagged Uther in the note "The Mark of Nimueh (on an egg... very eastery)

Gwen is free!

Morgana is in the know about Merlin's secret

Morgana isn't in the know about Merlin's real secret

Gaius has tagged Merlin in the note "One Day"

Nimueh has tagged Merlin in the note "You will pay for this!"

Merlin has tagged You in the note "Keep the Magic Secret"

**Please read & review**


	4. The Poisoned Chalice

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, the BBC does. And I don't own Facebook or status updates.**

**I got this idea from a similar thing on the Jane Eyre section and thought it would work for Merlin. It's basically the episode written out as status updates on Facebook. There will be one for each episode, whenever I get round to writing it. **

**This is by far my favourite episode out of the series and I hope I've done it justice. Enjoy!**

Nimueh is bleeding

Nimueh is doing magic

The Mercia Party is arriving in Camelot

Uther has accepted Bayard's friend request

Carra/Nimueh is in disguise

Merlin is doing the donkey work

Merlin has sent a friend request to Carra/Nimueh

Carra/Nimueh has accepted Merlin's friend request

Merlin is flirting badly

Nimueh is changing the chalices

Arthur has given a "Ceremonial Outfit" to Merlin

Merlin is wearing a very funny feathered hat

Carra/Nimueh is "pretty for a princess, let alone a handmaiden"

Bayard has tagged Uther and Arthur in the note "Very long speech and goblet-giving"

Carra/Nimueh is telling Merlin a secret

Merlin is making a dramatic entrance

Uther is forcing Merlin to drink the poisoned wine

Merlin is drinking the poisoned wine

Merlin is unconscious

Gaius is researching the poison

Gaius has tagged Arthur in the note "The Morteus Flower and how to get it"

Merlin is dead in 5 days, if not cured

Nimueh is escaping

Uther has tagged Arthur in the note "Leave Merlin to die"

Morgana has tagged Arthur in the note "Save Merlin"

Arthur is leaving

Merlin is talking in a funny language

Merlin is dead in 2 days, if not cured

Morgana is arguing with Uther

Nimueh is watching

Gwen is unable to find Carra/Nimueh

Merlin is calling out for Arthur

Arthur is attending the event "Cockatrice Fight" (A/n: and not retrieving his sword)

Arthur is meeting the "poor, beaten girl" aka Nimueh

Arthur is creeping through the dark, creepy caves

Merlin has tagged Arthur in the note "It's a trap"

Nimueh has tagged Arthur in the note "Eos lift fear water hessu meme, aeof ackstanas hessu meme, ickan stanna du Britain hessu meme"

Arthur is hanging off a cliff

Arthur is killing a spider

Nimueh is leaving

Merlin is doing magic

Arthur is being helped by a big blue ball of light

Merlin is telling Arthur to follow the light

Arthur is going after the flower

Merlin is telling Arthur to move, climb and go faster

Arthur is alive and has the flower

Arthur is back in Camelot

Arthur is in the cells

Uther has tagged Arthur in the note "You Disobeyed Me!"

Uther is being a big meanie

Gwen is sneaking in to the dungeon

Arthur has given a "Morteus Flower" to Gwen

Gwen is getting fresh water

Gaius is doing magic

Gaius has given a "Cure" to Merlin

Merlin is dead (A/n: very good breath-holding by Colin Morgan)

Gaius is hugging Gwen

Merlin is a ghost come back to haunt them

Gwen has given a "Kiss" to Merlin

Bayard is innocent

The Mercia Party is leaving

Arthur has tagged Morgana in the note "Mystery Magic"

Uther has tagged Arthur in the note "Evil Sorceress"

Uther is proud of Arthur

Merlin is "still alive then"

Merlin is going to be back to work tomorrow

Merlin is thanking Arthur

Gaius is thinking Nimueh wanted to kill Merlin

Merlin has tagged You in the note "Keep the Magic Secret"

**Please read & review**


	5. Up for Adoption!

**I'm really sorry but I've finally decided I won't be continuing "Merlin on Facebook". I've always said that I will never abandon a fic but I have completely lost the motivation and no longer have the spare time to try and get it back. **

**Therefore, I am putting this fic up for adoption. Anyone who wants to carry this on please PM me with your email address. I'll send the Word document of the fic to whoever PM's me first.**

**Again, I'm really sorry, especially to everyone who has reviewed saying they enjoyed it.**


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